All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
