Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
