Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize