I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
