Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
