Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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