went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think I just sharted jello shots
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