Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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