found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
