butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Houston, we have a squirter
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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