She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
