her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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