Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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