Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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