Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
