Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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