wanna go halves on a baby?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
and she was petting her beer can
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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