she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Your cock deserves a montage
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize