It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
