My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize