is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
