she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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