So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Congratulations! We have a period
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