in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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