That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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