She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
