no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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