Where are you?
In a non slutty way
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
