I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
