dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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