so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
