My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
