I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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