after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
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We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
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Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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