i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize