i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
