Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
