I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
