And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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