He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
only if we run a train.
done.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
