She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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