somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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