just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize