I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
