I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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