I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
