She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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