so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
