the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize