I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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