I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
