She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize