Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
