You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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