Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
