Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
