Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
