Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need to calm my uterus...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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