I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
