Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I checked into jail on foursquare
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
