You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
