...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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