Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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