You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
