i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
