So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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