I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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