I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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